MelissaA
Brenton
Shilpa Karhik
The FOOD SPOILAGE Test
January 22nd 2007 00:25
The Food Spoilage Test.
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled unless it's the leftovers you cooked yourself the night before.
EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is considered to be past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.
Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.
MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calender in your kitchen.
MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, then the meat is most decidely off.
BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have morphed into the size or shape of a grapefruit should be disposed of. Carefully.Very, VERY, carefully.
CARROTS
Any carrot that you can tie into a knot is decidedly not fresh.
POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
VEGETABLES IN GENERAL
If vegetable produce is weeing in your crisper, chances are is has gone off.
DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it is off.
WINE
It should not look, taste or resemble salad dressing.
UNMARKED ITEMS:
Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not show signs of flatulence when opened.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a guinea pig. Keeping a guinea pig in your refrigerator is a good way to gauge the time cycle.....
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled unless it's the leftovers you cooked yourself the night before.
EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is considered to be past its prime.
DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt.
Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese.
Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese.
Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.
MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.
EXPIRATION DATES
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having a calender in your kitchen.
MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, then the meat is most decidely off.
BREAD
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread.
Fuzzy and hairy looking white or green growth areas are a good indication that your bread has turned into a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.
CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have morphed into the size or shape of a grapefruit should be disposed of. Carefully.Very, VERY, carefully.
CARROTS
Any carrot that you can tie into a knot is decidedly not fresh.
POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.
VEGETABLES IN GENERAL
If vegetable produce is weeing in your crisper, chances are is has gone off.
DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it is off.
WINE
It should not look, taste or resemble salad dressing.
UNMARKED ITEMS:
Generally speaking, Tupperware containers should not show signs of flatulence when opened.
GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a guinea pig. Keeping a guinea pig in your refrigerator is a good way to gauge the time cycle.....
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Comment by Adrienne
Celebrity Fox
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
But it tasted sooo good with the baked guinea pig.
And the carrots tied in bows looked so pretty ...
What are you trying to do to me, Melissa? Do you want to make a pregnant woman sick?
A.H.
Comment by Scott Mealer
Eating out
chat
cooking
thought i would share this
scott
Comment by Sarah White
coolgirlsar to the rescue
One Too Many Chocolate Bars
Sarah.
xxx
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
I know it looks quite pretty, especially when the colours can fluctuate so, but for now at least your baby will thank you if you think about carrot sticks and not carrot knots for now at least. ; )
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
Sarah, sounds like a good idea to me! ; )
Comment by Anonymous