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The RULES Of AIR TRAVEL

September 16th 2009 16:55
aeroplane
1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the normal delay in order to make it on time.

2. If you ARE running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it will inevitably be delayed.

4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.

6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.

8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

9. The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.

10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.
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Technology for Country Folk!

September 5th 2009 16:43
computer stress
So just how are our country cousins keeping up with the digital age? Here's someone's humourous take on it all Technology for Country Folk.

Apologies to all those computer and internet savvy readers, but it is fun for a laugh - just pretend it's not about you, but your nextdoor neighbour.
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FUNNY WEDDING CAKE TOPPERS

August 21st 2009 08:48
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It seems parrots can play the stock market better than most people.

In a 6 week contest of 10 people and one 5 year old parrot named 'Ddalgi'' which means 'Strawberry', the parrot came 3rd!

[ Click here to read more ]
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airport

According to the Guide to Sleeping in Airports, the top 10 worst Airports in the world to catch some shut-eye in are:

[ Click here to read more ]
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2009 ODDEST BOOK TITLE AWARD!

July 2nd 2009 12:30
book stack
As discussed in a previous post many eons ago (which I now can't locate thanks to Firefox!!!) the competition for the weirdest book titles, as run by he Bookseller Magazine, has been hard at work as ever to appoint their 2009 winner.

Having brought books to the public eye such as 'How to Avoid Huge Ships', 'Bombproof Your Horse' and ''If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs', the shortlist for this year's Oddest Book Title of the Year included:

[ Click here to read more ]
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QUICK TO SWOOP

June 26th 2009 11:19
Michael Jackson
With the announcement of Michael Jackson's death, I thought everyone was quick with the new jokes, (in fact some sites have gone down with the amount of traffic online today) but not as quick it turns out, as people are to begin selling off their Michael Jackson memorabilia on Ebay.

In fact I counted up to 15 pages newly listed from today before I stopped - the list is seemingly endless. (What colour will his ghost be by the way???)

[ Click here to read more ]
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STRANGE IRISH CURSES

June 25th 2009 19:49
grave
May your obituary be written in weasel's piss.

May the lamb of God stir his hoof through the roof of heaven and kick you in the arse down to hell.

[ Click here to read more ]
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pms poster
This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to the American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.


[ Click here to read more ]
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HARI KARI? HARI KUYO!

May 21st 2009 10:49
sewing needle threaded
In Japan, every village has a shrine dedicated to broken sewing needles. Yes, that's right, broken sewing needles! The name for this shrine is Hari Kuyo.

This is done in the belief that a sewing needle which has performed its task well over its entire life and in the service of others, has 'died' whilst in active service. Broken needles are therefore laid to rest on a soft bed of tofu.
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Yesterday while setting up the lesson on lamingtons, I began thinking back to my younger days and the tune of "Football, meat pies, kangaroos and Holden cars."

I couldn't remember what is what for exactly as I was pretty young at the time, but thanks to the wondrous combination of the Internet and YouTube, I was able to refresh my memory. It was the jingle used to sell GM Holdens during the 70's (showing my age now aren't I!), and it's stuck with me ever since.

[ Click here to read more ]
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THE TOURIST'S PRAYER

April 21st 2009 08:38
World globe
Hi all, well I've just returned from a whirlwind trip of Romania, Egypt, Greece and Turkey - all within 2 weeks I might add, and looking back over the Tourist's Prayer I am nodding my head in agreement.

For those who are unaware of this accurate little piece, here it is:

[ Click here to read more ]
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full moon
You have no trouble opening heavily taped parcels with your nails.

You also have trouble learning to play the guitar due to your strings snapping for the same reason.
[ Click here to read more ]
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What's YOUR BLOOD-TYPE???

March 12th 2009 10:37
red blood cells free image
The human body contains one of four main blood types: A, B, AB and O.

Each blood-type also has an accompanying Rhesus or Rh factor of either positive or negative.

[ Click here to read more ]
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