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The Questions People Ask!

July 16th 2008 10:30
koala
Having been asked the other day whether we, as Australians, live in actual houses? (As opposed to what I don't know - tents perhaps???) I've decided to list some of the most common questions asked by visitors to Australia as were pointed out recently by one of our tourism websites.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all of our plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.


Q: My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot? (Canada)
A: How long did it take you to do your last 4,000 kilometre walk? Bring a bottle of water.


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? If so, can you send me a list of all of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?


Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful nation of vegan hunters and gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.


Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? If so, when? (France)
A: Occasionally, and if so than during our Christmas annual leave.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


What are some of the more bizarre questions you've ever heard or been asked about your own country?
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Machine Guns and Warfare? Never!

July 14th 2008 10:30
Douglas Haig
Field Marshal Douglas Haig, born June 19, 1861 was a senior British commander during World War I and has been regarded as somewhat of an idiot.
Known as the "Butcher of the Somme", he had a reputation for issuing orders which led to excessive casualties of British troops and never actually visited the direct warfront.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Often when it comes to the movies showing a bank robbery, they show the need for the robbers to plan their heist in advance.

Of course real life isn't anythiing like the movies, especially in this case - unless you're making a comedy that is!

[ Click here to read more ]
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You probably thought george W. Bush was the only US president to make faux pas such as "You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos. But we will."

And of course my personal favourite,"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

[ Click here to read more ]
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black cat on a pole
Over in Georgia, a man by the name of Carl Miles once possessed a 'talking' cat.

He would take his cat out to street corners where the cat would say "I Love You" and "I Want My Mamma". Both he and the cat would then collect money from passers-by.

[ Click here to read more ]
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What Would You Make Of This!

February 23rd 2008 23:05
Charlie Chaplin
Here's a situation that could be considered laughable.

Charlie Chaplin once entered a competition and came away the winner of 3rd prize.

[ Click here to read more ]
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toilet
Sometimes you wonder exactly what you pay your taxes for!

The other day we visited the old Viking and Roman town of York, UK.

[ Click here to read more ]
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gravestone headstone
Imagine how you would feel if people started calling you on the phone to find out whether or not you were dead or actually still alive!

This was the shock experienced by one 71 year old man by the name of Andy Lees in the UK recently.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Tale of One Stupid Terrorist!

February 5th 2008 09:45
In 1994, a fundamentalist group in Jordan began a series of terror attacks on a selected group of sites that were involved in the selling of alcohol and other associated 'evils'.

bomb
One member of the group was sent with a sizeable explosive device to a cinema that was screening Turkish soft-core pornography.

[ Click here to read more ]
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I'LL BET YOU 50 WORDS To Be PRECISE!

January 10th 2008 21:08
book
The founder of Random House book publishing, Bennett Cerf once made a bet after 30 years in the company with a gentlemen by the name of Theodor Geisel, known better by his Nom-de-plume of Dr Seuss.

Cerf bet Geisel that he couldn't write a book with exactly 50 words in it.

[ Click here to read more ]
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In 2001, council officials from Nottingham, England, after observing how much money was saved in Mediterranean countries through the use of solar powered parking meters, decided that the idea was good enough to install back home. Thus, they ordered £1.1 million Pay-and-Display solar powered parking meters for their local council area.

However they overlooked one very important detail.

[ Click here to read more ]
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ISP Providers OR NON-Providers???

December 2nd 2007 09:47
It's nice to have internet access back again, although I must be quick - who knows how long it will actually last for!

Today you can quibble about whether or not I'm stating a fact or merely an observation, but it's pathetic when an internet service provider (ISP) not only cannot provide you the service you pay for, but then charges like a wounded bull for you to ring them and tell them their service isn't working and what on earth is wrong with it this time. Even more so, when they cannot actually tell you because as my dear husband pointed out, their head has no idea what their arse is doing. I won’t mention the company by NAME….
orange

[ Click here to read more ]
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We recently visited some caves that are found in Cheshire's, Peak District, UK which make up a section of the Pennines.

One of these was a tour by boat down the tunnels and caverns of the miners from long ago.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Hotmail Account of George W Bush

August 17th 2007 00:40
George W Bush
OK, so I'm really running out of time in our sorting and packing to move overseas, so I'll leave you with a simple bit of George W. Bush humour (that's 'humor' for you Americans) that I know you all love so much.

Click HERE for U.S. President George W Bush's old Hotmail account!
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