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Humourous Marriage Quotes

February 16th 2007 00:25
wedding figurines
My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce.
- Joyce Brothers.

My wife tells me she doesn't care what I do when I'm away, as long as I'm not enjoying it.
- Lee Trevino (golfer).

I'm a very committed wife. And I should be committed too - for being married so many times.
- Elizabeth Taylor

Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.
- Groucho Marx.

Love: a temporary insanity, curable by marriage.
- Ambrose Bierce:

The older theory was, marry an older man because they're more mature. But the new theory is men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
- Rita Rudner

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets.
- Ogden Nash

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.
- Will Rogers

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one.
- Helen Rowland

After 7 years of marriage, I am sure of 2 things. First, never wallpaper together and second, you'll need 2 bathrooms...both for her. The rest is a mystery, but a mystery I love to be involved in.
- Dennis Miller

A retired husband is often a wife's full time job.
- Ella Harris.

Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to let her think she is having her own way, the the other, to let her have it.
- Lyndon B. Johnson:

An open marriage is natures way of telling you that you need a divorce.
- Ann Landers

By all means marry, if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you're wrong admit it;
Whenever you're right shut up.
- Ogden Nash.
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