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Funny Quotes for Christmas

December 17th 2010 22:14
"Christmas is a time when everybody wants his past forgotten and his present remembered. What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day."
- Phyllis Diller


upside down Christmas tree
"Christmas is a race to see which gives out first - your money or your feet."
- Anonymous


"Christmas is just like a day at the office. You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit."
- Anonymous


"The one thing women don''t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband."
- Joan Rivers


"The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin."
- Jay Leno


"Did you ever notice that life seems to follow certain patterns? Like I noticed that every year around this time, I hear Christmas music."
- Tom Sims


"Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas."
- Johnny Carson


"Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present."
- Anonymous

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TIS 2 WEEKS UNTIL CHRISTMAS

December 10th 2010 00:03
Tis two weeks until Christmas, we're all going nuts;
With so much to do, there's no ifs, ands or buts.
Buy presents, hang tree lights, pop cards in the mail,

[ Click here to read more ]
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Christmas shopping trolley of presents
All women may want to pay heed to this little story before they go out Christmas shopping this year, and for all other shopping.
Unless your husband/boyfriend/partner is particularly interested in going shopping with you, it might be best to leave them at home and go shopping either on your own or with a girlfriend instead!
News article husband shopping Christmas

[ Click here to read more ]
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Christmas Tree
Alongside Christmas comes the tradition of putting up the Christmas tree, which for most households comprises of one large tree, or possibly 2 depending on the size and layout of your home, but in 2007, a Los Angeles resident amassed a collection of 26 upstanding Christmas trees throughout his home.
"Ahhh..." you are probably thinking to yourself, "Surely he must live in one of those rather expansive Los Angeles mansions..."but you'd be wrong. His collection of trees along with thousands of ornaments and other decorations were, and still are, as he continues this line of lunacy passion, to be found inside his meagre 2 bedroom home!

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Christmas wrap gifts
Well it's that time of the year again and PNC have raised the bar by creating an interactive storybook account of their annual Real Cost Of The 12 Days Of Christmas, which for 2010 looks like this:

* One Partridge in a Pear Tree: $162 – up 1.3%

[ Click here to read more ]
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Airline Letter Of Complaint

October 7th 2010 03:16
toilet
During a Continental Airlines flight in December 2004, one extremely disgruntled passenger penned this letter of complaint to the airline while he was still on the flight. The letter also came with some graphic depictions of the passenger's plight.


[ Click here to read more ]
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Australian Coat of Arms
With Australia going to the polls this Saturday to determine who the country will be run by for the next few years, I thought some political quotes from the past might be in order.

'Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"'. - Robin Williams
[ Click here to read more ]
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One URGENT One For The Golfers

August 17th 2010 01:14
golfcourse
For all the guys out there who like to play golf, but don't have time to interrupt their game for those little unexpected urgencies of life....


[ Click here to read more ]
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Tech support for a wireless phone company received a call from an irate lady who could not understand why she would be billed for "airtime." Tech support explained to her it was because she had exceeded the minutes in her plan, and after that she is charged by the minute. She was still irate. Finally, she asked why she thought she should not be charged for airtime. Her reply, "I wasn't even on an airplane last month!"

An exasperated woman called a tech support help desk saying she couldn't turn on her new computer.
[ Click here to read more ]
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"I Was In Tears!" Missing Missy

August 1st 2010 23:45
Cat up tree
Ok, so you may think I'm being a bit slack by just posting a link to something I found on the web, but honestly, I couldn't do it justice to describe it. All I can say is I found it so absolutely hilarious, "I was in tears!"

~*~Missing Missy~*~
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The Effects of Glasses on People!

July 13th 2010 02:11
Isn't it funny how easily perceptions of people can change depending on whether or not they wear glasses.
Don't know what I'm talking about??? Then have a look at this!
perceptions

[ Click here to read more ]
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Ahoy There Me Facebook Hearties!

June 4th 2010 03:59
Facebook login screen
Calling any and all Facebookers who like to have inane, and idiotic bits of fun!

I was given these instructions by a friend recently, and I enjoyed the outcome so much, I've kept my Facebook setup like this. (Yes, slightly sad I know, but I don't get out much recreationally speaking.)

[ Click here to read more ]
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BP - Trying to Be Positive

June 1st 2010 03:50
Oils spill Gulf of mexico
With the ongoing drama of the oil spillage n the Gulf of Mexico, thanks to the incompetence of BP, a fake BP Public Relations Twitter account has not only been set up, but attracts a massively larger amount of followers than genuine BP Twitter accounts.

But then again, with comments like those being submitted, is it really any surprise??? Here's a few prime examples:

[ Click here to read more ]
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HAPPY ROAMING HAGGIS!

May 7th 2010 11:12
According to a recent survey by Just-Eat, not everyone in The United Kingdom actually knows what the Scottish delicacy, haggis is.

Of the 1,623 British people polled:

[ Click here to read more ]
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