Humour - Loose Ends

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1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the normal delay in order to make it on time.

2. If you ARE running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

3. If you arrive very early for a flight, it will inevitably be delayed.

4. Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

5. If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper.

6. If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

7. Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.

8. The crying baby on board your flight is always seated next to you.

9. The best-looking woman on your flight is never seated next to you.

10. The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Humour, Loose Ends

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Technology for Country Folk!

September 5th 2009 16:43

So just how are our country cousins keeping up with the digital age? Here's someone's humourous take on it all Technology for Country Folk.

Apologies to all those computer and internet savvy readers, but it is fun for a laugh - just pretend it's not about you, but your nextdoor neighbour.

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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Humour, Loose Ends

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FUNNY WEDDING CAKE TOPPERS

August 21st 2009 08:48

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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Humour, Loose Ends, Wedding Trivia

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2009 ODDEST BOOK TITLE AWARD!

July 2nd 2009 12:30

As discussed in a previous post many eons ago (which I now can't locate thanks to Firefox!!!) the competition for the weirdest book titles, as run by he Bookseller Magazine, has been hard at work as ever to appoint their 2009 winner.

Having brought books to the public eye such as 'How to Avoid Huge Ships', 'Bombproof Your Horse' and ''If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs', the shortlist for this year's Oddest Book Title of the Year included:
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Books, Humour, Interesting Facts, Loose Ends, Weird Facts

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QUICK TO SWOOP

June 26th 2009 11:19

With the announcement of Michael Jackson's death, I thought everyone was quick with the new jokes, (in fact some sites have gone down with the amount of traffic online today) but not as quick it turns out, as people are to begin selling off their Michael Jackson memorabilia on Ebay.

In fact I counted up to 15 pages newly listed from today before I stopped - the list is seemingly endless. (What colour will his ghost be by the way???)
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: American, Humour, Interesting Facts, Loose Ends

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STRANGE IRISH CURSES

June 25th 2009 19:49

May your obituary be written in weasel's piss.

May the lamb of God stir his hoof through the roof of heaven and kick you in the arse down to hell.
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Countries, Humour, Interesting History, Loose Ends, Weird Facts

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CALLING ALL WOMEN!!! THIS ONE'S FOR YOU!!!

June 3rd 2009 11:22

This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to the American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: American, Humour, Loose Ends

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THE TOURIST'S PRAYER

April 21st 2009 08:38

Hi all, well I've just returned from a whirlwind trip of Romania, Egypt, Greece and Turkey - all within 2 weeks I might add, and looking back over the Tourist's Prayer I am nodding my head in agreement.

For those who are unaware of this accurate little piece, here it is:
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Humour, Loose Ends

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Top Sure Signs To Tell Whether Or Not You Are Really A WEREWOLF!

March 18th 2009 09:49

You have no trouble opening heavily taped parcels with your nails.

You also have trouble learning to play the guitar due to your strings snapping for the same reason.
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Animals, Humour, Loose Ends

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SIMPLE SOLUTIONS For ANNOYING PROBLEMS!!!

February 17th 2009 16:13

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.

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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Humour, Loose Ends

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The Ultimate PMS WARNING System

January 29th 2009 08:51

Hey guys, ever wanted a simpler and easier way to track when you beloved girlfriend or wife is about to have the Cranky bus in town? Yes, I'm talking about a PMS Early warning System - not to be confused with the Tsunami Early Warning System although some of the symptoms can be commonly held by both.

Well now you can with the help of PMSBuddy which, with the motto of "saving relationships one month at a time," tracks those errant cycles and giving men a heads up when to maybe tread a little more lightly. Found at www.PMSBuddy.com, the service has signed up many thousands of men, as well as women who are also signing up to send their partners early alerts.
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: American, Humour, Loose Ends, Weird News

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AUSTRALIA DAY BOOZING TIP!!!

January 24th 2009 07:07

With Australia Day on the way and much boozing to ensue, I thought a little tip for the diet conscious might come in handy.

Alcohol does not make you FAT - it makes you LEAN
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Alcohol, Australian, Humour, Loose Ends

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FUNNY STATION STAFF & DRIVER ANNOUNCEMENTS Of The London UNDERGROUND!!!

January 20th 2009 11:37

I've recently discovered the joys of browsing through the online site Going Underground where I discovered these priceless gems of humour delivered by both the station staff and train drivers of the London Underground, or Tube as it's commonly known.

"to the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to get on the second carriage, what part of 'stand clear of the doors' don't you understand."
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Britain, Humour, Idiots, Loose Ends

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UNUSUAL CHRISTMAS GIFTS

December 22nd 2008 11:00

This year there are a myriad of unusual gifts and gadgets around that you may well end up expecting in your stocking this year.

I know one lady who's going to have a big laugh when she gives her husband a Flying Alarm Clock this year - yes, that's right! A FLYING alarm clock!
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Posted By: MelissaA - Category: Alcohol, Humour, Loose Ends

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