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The stereotypical differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Canadians.


Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.



Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.



Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.



Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.



Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians and Australians, ignored by Americans, and are therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Dame Edna Everidge.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!



Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.



Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.



Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.



Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

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The RULES Of AIR TRAVEL

September 16th 2009 16:55
aeroplane
1. No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the normal delay in order to make it on time.

2. If you ARE running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Technology for Country Folk!

September 5th 2009 16:43
computer stress
So just how are our country cousins keeping up with the digital age? Here's someone's humourous take on it all Technology for Country Folk.

Apologies to all those computer and internet savvy readers, but it is fun for a laugh - just pretend it's not about you, but your nextdoor neighbour.
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FUNNY WEDDING CAKE TOPPERS

August 21st 2009 08:48
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LOOSE STUFF 2 MAKE U LAUGH!

July 25th 2009 12:10
Charlie Sheen was once asked whether he'd like to have his father's job playing the American president on "The West Wing".
"I could never be the president," Sheen replied. "Think about it. I've abused cocaine, I've been arrested, I'm not a very smart guy. It's a big joke to think people would want someone like me just because his dad was president."

funny button

[ Click here to read more ]
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2009 ODDEST BOOK TITLE AWARD!

July 2nd 2009 12:30
book stack
As discussed in a previous post many eons ago (which I now can't locate thanks to Firefox!!!) the competition for the weirdest book titles, as run by he Bookseller Magazine, has been hard at work as ever to appoint their 2009 winner.

Having brought books to the public eye such as 'How to Avoid Huge Ships', 'Bombproof Your Horse' and ''If You Want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs', the shortlist for this year's Oddest Book Title of the Year included:

[ Click here to read more ]
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QUICK TO SWOOP

June 26th 2009 11:19
Michael Jackson
With the announcement of Michael Jackson's death, I thought everyone was quick with the new jokes, (in fact some sites have gone down with the amount of traffic online today) but not as quick it turns out, as people are to begin selling off their Michael Jackson memorabilia on Ebay.

In fact I counted up to 15 pages newly listed from today before I stopped - the list is seemingly endless. (What colour will his ghost be by the way???)

[ Click here to read more ]
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STRANGE IRISH CURSES

June 25th 2009 19:49
grave
May your obituary be written in weasel's piss.

May the lamb of God stir his hoof through the roof of heaven and kick you in the arse down to hell.

[ Click here to read more ]
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pms poster
This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to the American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.


[ Click here to read more ]
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THE TOURIST'S PRAYER

April 21st 2009 08:38
World globe
Hi all, well I've just returned from a whirlwind trip of Romania, Egypt, Greece and Turkey - all within 2 weeks I might add, and looking back over the Tourist's Prayer I am nodding my head in agreement.

For those who are unaware of this accurate little piece, here it is:

[ Click here to read more ]
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full moon
You have no trouble opening heavily taped parcels with your nails.

You also have trouble learning to play the guitar due to your strings snapping for the same reason.
[ Click here to read more ]
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Those FUNNY SIGNS!

February 28th 2009 10:49
We all love funny signs so here's a few extra to enjoy for the weekend.

funny sign instructions free

[ Click here to read more ]
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question mark
1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly removed.


[ Click here to read more ]
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end of the rainbow
Rainbow was a British children's television series, running between 1972 to 1992, and planned out as the British equivalent of Sesame Street.

In 1979, the cast and crew of Rainbow performed an Adult version, as shown below, solely for the viewing eyes of the staff for Christmas. It was never intended for public viewing, however in 1997, the Channel 4 programme TV Offal showed it, jokingly, as "the pilot episode".

[ Click here to read more ]
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