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STRANGE IRISH CURSES

June 25th 2009 19:49
grave
May your obituary be written in weasel's piss.

May the lamb of God stir his hoof through the roof of heaven and kick you in the arse down to hell.

May the devil swallow him sideways.

May the snails devour his corpse And the rains do harm worse May the devil sweep the hairy creature soon!

May your hens take the disorder(the fowl-pest), your cows the crippen(phosphorosis) and your calves the white scour! May yourself go stone-blind so that you will not know your wife from a hay-stack!

May the seven terriers of hell sit on the spool of your breast and bark in at your soul-case

The treatment of the boiled broken little fish to you

The roasting of the salmon to the very end on you

May you be broken over the masons cliff

Six horse-loads of graveyard clay on top of you

May the entrails and mansion of pleasure of this worm fall out

May the devil cut the head off you and make a days work of your neck

No butter be on your milk nor on your ducks a web. May your child not walk and your cow be flayed. And may the flame be bigger and wider which will go through your soul than the Connemara mountains if they were on fire

The curse of the crows on you

May you be afflicted with the itch and have no nails to scratch with!

I bind you by grave injunctions of magic from the river, back to the river, may you fall in a nettle patch and may savage dogs eat your one good foot on a mountain.

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MISHEARD & Sung Christmas LYRICS!!!

December 1st 2008 23:45
Christmas candles carols
Some more of those laughable misheard and mis-sung lyrics, only this time from Christmas carols.

1. The Christmas Song

[ Click here to read more ]
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gravestone headstone

This gravestone is located in the Notre-Dame-des-Neiges Cemetery, Montreal, Section C, Plot: 01369.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The FUNNY SIDE Of The CREDIT CRUNCH!!!

October 15th 2008 09:25
Q. What's the difference between investment bankers and pigeons?
A. The pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW's.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Questions People Ask!

July 16th 2008 10:30
koala
Having been asked the other day whether we, as Australians, live in actual houses? (As opposed to what I don't know - tents perhaps???) I've decided to list some of the most common questions asked by visitors to Australia as were pointed out recently by one of our tourism websites.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
[ Click here to read more ]
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money free clipart
In 2001, Yiannis Katsanis, a Greek millionaire passed away leaving a rather disturbing clause in his will. Disturbing that is, for his relatives and the people of his hometown, Afitos.

The will stipulated that the sum of two billion drachmas ($5.28 million) was to be bequeathed to the town to aid in the construction and running of a new hospital, on the proviso that detailed letters he had written about the sexual exploits and affairs of his relatives and other townspeople were to be read out in public at the town square.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Now Just FORK OFF!!!!

April 18th 2008 08:32
fork
From the Associated Press comes this tidbit of exacting revenge in Iowa, USA

"When known pranksters Rick and Marilyn Jones left town for a wedding, neighbors seeking payback eyed their property and decided to stick a fork in it — a few thousand forks, in fact.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Jokes Guaranteed To Offend

April 16th 2008 08:25
George W Bush shocked
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

[ Click here to read more ]
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In 2001, council officials from Nottingham, England, after observing how much money was saved in Mediterranean countries through the use of solar powered parking meters, decided that the idea was good enough to install back home. Thus, they ordered £1.1 million Pay-and-Display solar powered parking meters for their local council area.

However they overlooked one very important detail.

[ Click here to read more ]
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We recently visited some caves that are found in Cheshire's, Peak District, UK which make up a section of the Pennines.

One of these was a tour by boat down the tunnels and caverns of the miners from long ago.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Wild Letterboxes

August 12th 2007 00:06
letterbox lady
Letterboxes, there are some truly creative, unique and downright crazy custom made letterboxes around - take this one shown for example.

I found this website here on weird and wacky letterboxes, pinched the pic of the first one to give you an example. So now you can visit the site and explore the weirdness of letterboxes for yourselves.

[ Click here to read more ]
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How To Complain To Your ISP!

August 6th 2007 00:31
ISP's - Grrrr - mine has been dropping off the planet so often I'm beginning to wonder if they've investigated medication for their narcolepsy!

So here's a piece of ISP related humour for you all while the server is still up for the next 10 seconds .

[ Click here to read more ]
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Temperature And The SCOTS!!!

August 4th 2007 00:40
Scotland flag
When it's:

25 degrees:

[ Click here to read more ]
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airbus
Ok, another story I once came across, I don't know if it's true or not, but if it did ever occur then hats off to the flight crew!


On a British Airways flight from Johannesburg, a middle-aged, well-off white South African lady has found herself sitting next to a black man. She called the cabin crew attendant over to complain about her seating.
[ Click here to read more ]
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