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The stereotypical differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Canadians.


Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.



Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.



Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.



Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.



Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians and Australians, ignored by Americans, and are therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Dame Edna Everidge.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!



Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.



Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.



Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.



Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

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STRANGE IRISH CURSES

June 25th 2009 19:49
grave
May your obituary be written in weasel's piss.

May the lamb of God stir his hoof through the roof of heaven and kick you in the arse down to hell.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Those FUNNY SIGNS!

February 28th 2009 10:49
We all love funny signs so here's a few extra to enjoy for the weekend.

funny sign instructions free

[ Click here to read more ]
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STRANGE AUSTRALIAN RACES

January 26th 2009 10:50
Australia
Australia hosts some strange races and sporting events. Here's a quick rundown of a few.

1. The Cockroach World Championship - Brisbane
[ Click here to read more ]
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MISHEARD & Sung Christmas LYRICS!!!

December 1st 2008 23:45
Christmas candles carols
Some more of those laughable misheard and mis-sung lyrics, only this time from Christmas carols.

1. The Christmas Song

[ Click here to read more ]
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gravestone headstone

This gravestone is located in the Notre-Dame-des-Neiges Cemetery, Montreal, Section C, Plot: 01369.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Things PEOPLE Actually SAY!!!!

November 5th 2008 10:00
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The FUNNY SIDE Of The CREDIT CRUNCH!!!

October 15th 2008 09:25
Q. What's the difference between investment bankers and pigeons?
A. The pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW's.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Questions People Ask!

July 16th 2008 10:30
koala
Having been asked the other day whether we, as Australians, live in actual houses? (As opposed to what I don't know - tents perhaps???) I've decided to list some of the most common questions asked by visitors to Australia as were pointed out recently by one of our tourism websites.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
[ Click here to read more ]
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money free clipart
In 2001, Yiannis Katsanis, a Greek millionaire passed away leaving a rather disturbing clause in his will. Disturbing that is, for his relatives and the people of his hometown, Afitos.

The will stipulated that the sum of two billion drachmas ($5.28 million) was to be bequeathed to the town to aid in the construction and running of a new hospital, on the proviso that detailed letters he had written about the sexual exploits and affairs of his relatives and other townspeople were to be read out in public at the town square.

[ Click here to read more ]
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thief
In India this week a man was arrested by police after having robbed a bank of a different kind.

We've all heard the old jokes about the Irishman robbing the sperm bank by mistake, but it appears in this case that the sperm bank stolen from in this news item was indeed the actual target.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Now Just FORK OFF!!!!

April 18th 2008 08:32
fork
From the Associated Press comes this tidbit of exacting revenge in Iowa, USA

"When known pranksters Rick and Marilyn Jones left town for a wedding, neighbors seeking payback eyed their property and decided to stick a fork in it — a few thousand forks, in fact.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Jokes Guaranteed To Offend

April 16th 2008 08:25
George W Bush shocked
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Easter At The Whitehouse

March 22nd 2008 01:45
Easter eggs real
OK, so every year in the US the President, his wife and their cohorts have what's known as the annual Easter Egg Roll on the lawns of the Whitehouse.

But to see one with an added twist, you should check out this one....Easter under the Bush Administration!

[ Click here to read more ]
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