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The Questions People Ask!

July 16th 2008 10:30
koala
Having been asked the other day whether we, as Australians, live in actual houses? (As opposed to what I don't know - tents perhaps???) I've decided to list some of the most common questions asked by visitors to Australia as were pointed out recently by one of our tourism websites.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all of our plants fully grown and then sit around watching them die.


Q: My wife and I enjoy walking tours. How long will it take us to get from Perth to Sydney on foot? (Canada)
A: How long did it take you to do your last 4,000 kilometre walk? Bring a bottle of water.


Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? If so, can you send me a list of all of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?


Q: What is the weather like in Vienna in May? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y.


Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney, and is milk available year-round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful nation of vegan hunters and gatherers. Milk is illegal.


Q: Are the rattlesnakes in Melbourne deadly? Do you sell anti-venom at the grocery store? (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-mer-i-ca, which is where you come from. Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make great pets.


Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? If so, when? (France)
A: Occasionally, and if so than during our Christmas annual leave.


Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go in Australia? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.


What are some of the more bizarre questions you've ever heard or been asked about your own country?
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money free clipart
In 2001, Yiannis Katsanis, a Greek millionaire passed away leaving a rather disturbing clause in his will. Disturbing that is, for his relatives and the people of his hometown, Afitos.

The will stipulated that the sum of two billion drachmas ($5.28 million) was to be bequeathed to the town to aid in the construction and running of a new hospital, on the proviso that detailed letters he had written about the sexual exploits and affairs of his relatives and other townspeople were to be read out in public at the town square.

[ Click here to read more ]
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thief
In India this week a man was arrested by police after having robbed a bank of a different kind.

We've all heard the old jokes about the Irishman robbing the sperm bank by mistake, but it appears in this case that the sperm bank stolen from in this news item was indeed the actual target.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Now Just FORK OFF!!!!

April 18th 2008 08:32
fork
From the Associated Press comes this tidbit of exacting revenge in Iowa, USA

"When known pranksters Rick and Marilyn Jones left town for a wedding, neighbors seeking payback eyed their property and decided to stick a fork in it — a few thousand forks, in fact.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Jokes Guaranteed To Offend

April 16th 2008 08:25
George W Bush shocked
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Easter At The Whitehouse

March 22nd 2008 01:45
Easter eggs real
OK, so every year in the US the President, his wife and their cohorts have what's known as the annual Easter Egg Roll on the lawns of the Whitehouse.

But to see one with an added twist, you should check out this one....Easter under the Bush Administration!

[ Click here to read more ]
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Not Superman but SuperSHEEP!

March 18th 2008 10:10
Police in Germany recently experienced an unexpected turn of events when their latest suspect not only outran them, but also beat up their police dogs!

German sheep
Wanted in connection with rampaging through the town streets at over 30 miles an hour, a sheep managed to evade capture by jumping up and over the bonnets of police cars that were set up as a 'sheep-block' and head butting pursuing police dogs.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Interesting Valentines Facts!

February 14th 2008 11:00
love heart
- Worldwide, over 50 million roses are given for Valentine's Day each year.

- Of all flowers purchased, men are responsible for buying approximately 3/4.
[ Click here to read more ]
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school classroom
I just received this bit of humour via email from a friend. See what you think.

Schooling in 1960 versus schooling in the year 2007.

[ Click here to read more ]
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In 2001, council officials from Nottingham, England, after observing how much money was saved in Mediterranean countries through the use of solar powered parking meters, decided that the idea was good enough to install back home. Thus, they ordered £1.1 million Pay-and-Display solar powered parking meters for their local council area.

However they overlooked one very important detail.

[ Click here to read more ]
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We recently visited some caves that are found in Cheshire's, Peak District, UK which make up a section of the Pennines.

One of these was a tour by boat down the tunnels and caverns of the miners from long ago.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Wild Letterboxes

August 12th 2007 00:06
letterbox lady
Letterboxes, there are some truly creative, unique and downright crazy custom made letterboxes around - take this one shown for example.

I found this website here on weird and wacky letterboxes, pinched the pic of the first one to give you an example. So now you can visit the site and explore the weirdness of letterboxes for yourselves.

[ Click here to read more ]
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How To Complain To Your ISP!

August 6th 2007 00:31
ISP's - Grrrr - mine has been dropping off the planet so often I'm beginning to wonder if they've investigated medication for their narcolepsy!

So here's a piece of ISP related humour for you all while the server is still up for the next 10 seconds .

[ Click here to read more ]
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Temperature And The SCOTS!!!

August 4th 2007 00:40
Scotland flag
When it's:

25 degrees:

[ Click here to read more ]
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