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The Things PEOPLE Actually SAY!!!!

November 5th 2008 10:00
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.
(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)


"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff.'
--Mariah Carey


questions
'Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,'
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for federal anti-smoking campaign .


'I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body,'
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward.


'Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country,'
--Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC.


'That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,'
--A congressional candidate in
Texas.


'Half this game is ninety percent mental.'
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark


'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
--Al Gore, Vice President


'I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.'
-- Dan Quayle


'We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need ?'
--Lee Iacocca


'The word 'genius' isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.'
--Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst.


'We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude certain types of people.'
-- Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instrutor.


'Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.'
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina


'Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas.'
--Keppel Enderbery


'If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record.'
--Mark S. Fowler, FCC Chairman
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The Questions People Ask!

July 16th 2008 10:30
koala
Having been asked the other day whether we, as Australians, live in actual houses? (As opposed to what I don't know - tents perhaps???) I've decided to list some of the most common questions asked by visitors to Australia as were pointed out recently by one of our tourism websites.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
[ Click here to read more ]
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Jokes Guaranteed To Offend

April 16th 2008 08:25
George W Bush shocked
What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Temperature And The SCOTS!!!

August 4th 2007 00:40
Scotland flag
When it's:

25 degrees:

[ Click here to read more ]
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Previous Daylight Saving Time Issues

March 23rd 2007 00:25
With Daylight Saving Time ending this weekend for some states of Australia, (That’s right boys and girls – be prepared to put your watches and clocks BACKWARDS one hour.)
daylight savings clock
I thought I’d remind you all of some relevant mishaps that can be found at webexhibits.org.
These are occasions when Daylight Saving Time caused slightly more than an issue or two due to the actual changing of the time.

[ Click here to read more ]
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