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The stereotypical differences between Aussies, Brits, Americans and Canadians.


Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad.
Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad.
Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad.
Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad.



Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it.
Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it.
Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less.
Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means.



Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer.
Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer.
Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting piss.
Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it.



Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect.
Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect.
Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success, and failure are inherited.
Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers.



Brits: Have produced many great comedians, celebrated by Canadians and Australians, ignored by Americans, and are therefore not rich.
Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Dame Edna Everidge.
Canadians: Have produced many great comedians such as John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV.
Americans: Think that these people are American!



Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box.
Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels.
Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels.
Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them.



Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball.
Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby.
Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball.
Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in.



Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer.
Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness.
Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, in either language, when they can be bothered to sing them.
Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem.



Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens.
Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens.
Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian.
Aussies: Waffle on about how some of their past citizens were once Outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers.

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LOOSE STUFF 2 MAKE U LAUGH!

July 25th 2009 12:10
Charlie Sheen was once asked whether he'd like to have his father's job playing the American president on "The West Wing".
"I could never be the president," Sheen replied. "Think about it. I've abused cocaine, I've been arrested, I'm not a very smart guy. It's a big joke to think people would want someone like me just because his dad was president."

funny button

[ Click here to read more ]
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QUICK TO SWOOP

June 26th 2009 11:19
Michael Jackson
With the announcement of Michael Jackson's death, I thought everyone was quick with the new jokes, (in fact some sites have gone down with the amount of traffic online today) but not as quick it turns out, as people are to begin selling off their Michael Jackson memorabilia on Ebay.

In fact I counted up to 15 pages newly listed from today before I stopped - the list is seemingly endless. (What colour will his ghost be by the way???)

[ Click here to read more ]
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pms poster
This is an actual letter from an Austin, Texas woman sent to the American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.


[ Click here to read more ]
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Those FUNNY SIGNS!

February 28th 2009 10:49
We all love funny signs so here's a few extra to enjoy for the weekend.

funny sign instructions free

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Ultimate PMS WARNING System

January 29th 2009 08:51
PMS woman with gun
Hey guys, ever wanted a simpler and easier way to track when you beloved girlfriend or wife is about to have the Cranky bus in town? Yes, I'm talking about a PMS Early warning System - not to be confused with the Tsunami Early Warning System although some of the symptoms can be commonly held by both.

Well now you can with the help of PMSBuddy which, with the motto of "saving relationships one month at a time," tracks those errant cycles and giving men a heads up when to maybe tread a little more lightly. Found at www.PMSBuddy.com, the service has signed up many thousands of men, as well as women who are also signing up to send their partners early alerts.

[ Click here to read more ]
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SOCK and AWE - Fancy a Go???

December 16th 2008 21:06
George W. Bush U.S. President
Following in the footsteps of the Iraqi journalist who recently hurled his shoe at George W. Bush, the online game Sock and Awe, has been drawing high numbers of people willing to throw their shoes and socks at the outgoing U.S. president's image.

The soles of shoes are considered to be the ultimate insult in Arab culture - at the toppling of Saddam Hussein's statue in Baghdad in April 2003, many people used the soles of their shoes to beat it.

[ Click here to read more ]
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money pile
Here are the results from PNC's 2008 Annual Christmas Index.

Many factors have been brought into play this year including the rising cost of fuel and a lowered demand for certain items. However while some prices have increased, others such as the Three French Hens are now selling at a bargain price.

[ Click here to read more ]
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I'M SPEECHLESS!!!!

November 27th 2008 18:39
dunce cap hat
Taken from a police station's daily written record of events.
funny advert
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The Things PEOPLE Actually SAY!!!!

November 5th 2008 10:00
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: 'I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,'
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

[ Click here to read more ]
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Japan, Banking and the Credit Crunch!!!

October 17th 2008 09:25
money free clipart
Following in the footsteps of the global credit crisis which has affected Australia, the U.S. and U.K., uncertainty has now hit the Japanese markets.

In the last 7 days the Origami Bank has folded, the Sumo Bank has gone belly up and the Bonsai Bank has announced major plans to cut some of its branches.

[ Click here to read more ]
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telephone
Recently in Florida, USA, a 47 year old man by the name of Carlos Gutierrez was arrested after making false 911 to police because the casino's slot machines had 'stolen his money'.

He not only called 911 from the casino he was in, but also again from outside the casino and hotel.

[ Click here to read more ]
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The Questions People Ask!

July 16th 2008 10:30
koala
Having been asked the other day whether we, as Australians, live in actual houses? (As opposed to what I don't know - tents perhaps???) I've decided to list some of the most common questions asked by visitors to Australia as were pointed out recently by one of our tourism websites.


Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I've never seen it rain on TV. How do your plants grow? (UK)
[ Click here to read more ]
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You probably thought george W. Bush was the only US president to make faux pas such as "You're free. And freedom is beautiful. And, you know, it'll take time to restore chaos and order—order out of chaos. But we will."

And of course my personal favourite,"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

[ Click here to read more ]
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